Hey, Stargate Universe, cheer the hell up!

3/5 stars
I’m a solid fan of the Stargate series. SG1 is as close to the perfect programme as I’ve ever seen, occasionally formulaic but otherwise a shining example of good science fiction. Stargate Atlantis is its slightly disfigured but ultimately loveable cousin.
Stargate Universe, to complete the picture, is the whiny kid in the corner that you really want to like but annoys you to hell and back.
Here’s the basic plot: people, stuck on alien ship, in an unknown galaxy and unable to get home. Survival, struggle, strife. Massive scenes where everyone laments about how bad it is and generally looks depressed.
That’s my main problem with Universe, which you may have guessed from the title. It takes itself so seriously, that the otherwise awesome characters take on this hand-to-forehead-its-so-terrible tone.
Talking of the characters, most of them are 2D and there purely to move the plot forward. I wanted to stab Chloe in the face for most of the first season and, while I understand she’s meant to be the unlucky bystander that got pulled into things she wasn’t meant to, her scenes feel like they’ve been ripped from something set in a high school.
The only characters I’m interested in are Eli Wallace, Nicholas Rush and, possibly, Everett Young. All three of them qualify for ‘actual human’ status- they manage to appear more realistic than a cardboard cut out. Eli is the most likeable, although if you peer at him long enough, you can see the faint outlines of an arrow pointed at his head saying ‘good guy, token geek’.
Rush’s sense of honour appears to be as flexible as Rolf Harris’ wobbly board but that’s fine, he clearly has an agenda and is following it realistically. Robert Carlyle is a fantastic actor and plays Rush very very well.
Young is another matter. I can’t decide whether he deserves a medal or a knuckle sandwich. Probably both. He goes from reasonable Colonel to complete idiot, has the leadership skills of a hermit and in no way deserves the description ‘handsome, capable, former SG team leader’ or indeed, ‘like the Jack O'Neill of ten years ago’. No, no he isn’t. The man doesn’t understand the word ‘humour’, which was O’Neill’s forte. That said, he does come off as human - a flawed, annoying human, but of our race none the less.
Despite all that, Universe is still bringing in big audiences. The story lines are completely new, with the possible exception of Darkness which has echoes of Atlantis’ beginning episodes. They charter new characters, worlds and generally use the series to try out unexplored avenues. It lacks SG1’s focus on the Stargate and the missions through it, instead opting for a more human angle - Universe is about the people, trapped on an alien ship in an unknown galaxy and how they deal, or fail to deal, with it. You genuinely feel for the characters, even a few of the cardboard ones. And, now in its second season, Universe has set up some pretty big questions, which I’m eager to see answered.
So, watch it and give it a chance, especially if you liked SG1 and Atlantis. But line up some comedy after watching. You’re going to need it.